Sunday, January 16, 2011

Chasing Rainbows

Sometimes I wonder if I spend too much time thinking of ways to chase rainbows. For the last three or fours years I have been burdened with an insatiable need to figure out who I truly am and what my purpose is in this world. We are all born to play different parts and I know that we will all play many parts in our individual lifetimes. I know there is folly in trying to define yourself with a single label or with a career or talent. Those are just things we do, but not who we are. It's hard to differentiate between who we are and what we do in terms of defining ourselves. The thought that always comes to mind is that I don't want to get to the end of my life and regret not taking some chances or trying things that I never thought I could do. I've only got this one life to live and I hope that I am and will live it to its fullest. So I guess the key is balance. I want to try new things and find out what I'm really passionate about doing. I've got a lot of things that I'm passionate for, but I want to find my niche in life and run with it. I guess most everyone dreams of getting paid for what they love to do. I know it takes hard work and dedication. I also know that it requires one to keep trying again and again. I've already failed at trying to do things that I'm passionate about, but I haven't given up. I think of Abraham Lincoln. He failed over and over again, but he was persistent.
I'm also aware of the fact that I am already living an adventure that a lot of people dream about. I have a good husband, I get to stay home, I have a sweet little boy, I have a house to live in, I have an education, and I have freedom. I don't want to jump off this boat to catch a other words, I don't want to let the most important people and times in my life pass me by because I'm in search of something that I already have. At this point I've resolved to be as adventurous and outgoing as I can be from home and only after I've fulfilled my obligations of the most important parts I play right now: mother, wife, sister, daughter, friend.


Marci Dawn said...

I think you are exactly right. I love you sister. I can't wait to see you!

Raevan Blake said...

It was an adjustment that took a long time for me. I used to think about working and what I wanted to do, but somewhere along the way I grew into being a stay at home mom. I can HONESTLY say that I love giving myself and my time to my family and making our home our haven. I hope that feel fulfilled in whatever you do, you deserve it!