Wednesday, April 13, 2011


A common occurrence: this boy hates wearing pants AND his diaper as well:)
I think every parent has some days, or maybe a lot of days, where it feels like raising kids is the hardest thing ever. I had one of those days yesterday. Taj has been sick this week: running fevers, bad cough, throwing up, etc. I can handle a sick kid and the sleep deprivation, but what I can't handle is when he won't take his medicine voluntarily and I fail at forcing him to take it when he's running a high fever and coughing so much he pukes. It makes me so frustrated! At one point I lost my patience with him after he spit out the medicine down the sides of his face and in his hair for the fourth time in a row and I gave him a little spat on the bum. Keep in mind he has practically no bum and lots of padding from the diaper, so he probably didn't even feel it. What he did feel though, was that I was mad at him and I could tell his feelings were hurt. Then I felt bad for losing my temper with a sick kid. Then I felt like a horrible parent. What kind of a mom gives her sick kid a spank?! In a last ditch effort to give him his medicine, I mixed it into some apple juice for him. One sip however and he was spitting and screaming and crying again. At that point, I was still frustrated with him, so I just left him with the sippy in his room and put him to bed, crying. Then I felt even worse because I knew he wanted to be snuggled, but I couldn't bear to go back in the room yet. So I started reading blogs. Then Brannon called me (he's away on business this week) and asked how things were going and I just started crying. I cried to him for like half an hour (poor guy).I felt a little better after talking to him, but I still felt bad about losing it with Taj and I think I even may have felt a little sorry for myself, seeing as I was alone taking care of a sick kid. Then I started reading some blogs I'd never seen before, about parents who'd had tragedy strike their kids. Then I realized how thankful I was to have Taj, alive and well (well mostly well) in the other room and that I still got to hug him, kiss him, and hold him. I realized I was thankful for the noise, the mess, the chaos, the tantrums, the good days and the bad. I realized that silence would kill me. I realized how ungrateful I'd been and now I'm so glad that I've been reminded of what a great blessing it is to have children and I'm going to do better about being thankful for every moment of parenthood, good and bad.

Last night I thought of an analogy. I kept trying to force Taj to take the medicine because I knew it would help heal him. He didn't know that and refused to take it. The taste alone was enough to scare him off. I realized that this is kind of how we act with Heavenly Father. He never forces us to to do anything, but He knows what's good for us and a lot of times we refuse to follow His path because we think we know better or the path we're prompted to take doesn't look appetizing to us. I realized I need to put more trust in His plan for me, whatever that plan is and wherever it may take me because only He knows what experiences will make me the best me I can be.

If any of you are wondering which blogs I was looking at, here they are: , , and These are some amazing people and you will find in every blog that the way these great people are able to weather the storm of the tragedy that has struck their lives is through the gospel. I'm so glad I know what I know. It really does make life a lot easier! Grab a box of tissues before you sit down, just warning you!

1 comment:

Kelly said...

Thanks for sharing those links Michelle! I have been feeling the same as you lately (feeling like raising kids is the hardest thing ever)yesterday for instance Nicole threw a fit at Walmart when I went to get her hair cut! I find myself saying "you're driving me nuts" and I lose my patience at night when she wakes up crying and wont stop no matter what I do. I always feel SO bad afterward cause she's only 2. This story was amazing. Preslee's parents are SO strong. Saddest thing ever to lose a child. Preslee and Nicole even have the same birthday (12/17/08)I tried to imagine myself in their shoes and I couldn't even let my mind drift that far cause it hurts so bad. I start missing Nicole when she goes to bed early or she's off with her daddy. Just like Preslee was to Pat and Ashley, Nicole is our whole world and to have our lives change like that in one week I just dont think I would be strong enough. What wonderful examples of the motto "I can do hard things" To lose any loved one has got to be the hardest thing. Thanks for reminding me what a great blessing it is to have children!