Wednesday, August 25, 2010

What do you want to be when you grow up?

This is why I run errands in the afternoon. It always ends like this:)
Marce this pick almost looks like the one you took:)

The lovely Monticello Temple with sunflowers.

My favorite place to work when I was a teenager.

The parts store in Monticello.

What bathtime looks like for us.

He practices more than I do and while only wearing a shirt...

My very first "you break it, you buy it" experience, thanks to Taj...can't believe they wanted $5 bucks for it! It's precious isn't it? I'm gluing it together and putting it on my fridge anyway:)

I've had big dreams of what I wanted to be when I grew up since I was a kid. For starters I was going to be the first astronaut to make it through a black hole. Next I was going to be an archeologist digging for bones and treasure in the great pyramids of Egypt. As I grew older the dreams became more realistic--psychologist, doctor, lawyer. Hasn't everyone had a childhood dream of becoming someone or something spectacular? The thought plagues me more than it should. I should be more than happy in my position. I am blessed to be a mom, I get to stay home, I have a degree in education as back-up, I'm married to a wonderful husband, I have a wonderful family, but still something nags me every day to find out what it is I'm meant to do or be in this life. I'm not searching for fame or glory, just my place in this world I guess. Maybe it has to do with the time frame I'm in right now. Maybe my place right now is just to be at home, raising my kids and taking care of our home. Maybe I already make enough of a difference in the world just doing that and helping out the neighbors. I've thought about this thousands of times, rest assured, but there is a little sliver of me that continues to sound her trumpet, that won't be still. How do you follow your dreams if you're not even sure what you're passionate about? Some dreams have to wait, family comes first. In the meantime, I think I will do all that I can do at this my best at excelling at the talents that I DO have, not worry about those I DON'T, and see where the road takes me in the future. So as of right now, I feel content in knowing that I'm doing or at least trying to do what I can from home. I've learned from many others that miracles can happen in the home and you can be somebody without having to step outside of the walls of your own home. I think what I need here is a good dose of patience and diligence....and perserverance. It could never hurt to have a little more of that right? I am learning to be happy in the office of "mother." I've had to get more creative, more shrewd on finding constructive things to do with my time. I think mothers are some of the most creative and talented people out there. So I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up, but for now, I guess I will be a little bit of everything.


Janice Twitchell said...

I know exactly how you feel. I felt that way for a long time. then i found photography. I love it. but still at times, I feel like i could be doing more. so of course i involve myself in "more." sometimes I wish I was just "mom" and nothing else. but i can't give anything i do up either because i love it all so much. i think moms are awesome, because like you said, we do a little bit of everything. we are the "jack of all trades-master of all(instead of none)" you will find things you are passionate about. but seriously taj is so stinking cute, I don't know if you'll want to do anything else but squeeze him! good luck finding out what you want to be. you're good at everything so you could basically do wahtever you want. :)

Bode & Taryn said...

I feel just like you!! I'm not a mom yet, but I finished school, have great jobs, nice house, wonderful husband, cute dogs and sometimes i'm just look at my life and am like this is it?! I'm almost scared to have kids cus i'm afraid i'll feel the same way about them and feel guiltier than i do now. You're so right though we just have to love the moment we are in. It sure is nice to know others feel the same way too.