Chairs In the Road

Chairs do not belong on the road, especially on the freeway, especially in my lane! Yesterday I was rumbling down the road in lil' Black Magic when all of a sudden the car in front of me swerved out of the lane to reveal a man on the side of the road waving his arms frantically and a gigantic chair right in my lane. My natural reaction was to stomp on the brakes at 65 miles per hour, which of course set my locked tires to screeching and produced enormous amounts of black smoke. I'm pretty sure my eyes were as big as golf balls and I might have been doing the silent scream and I say silent because I was so scared I swear my heart stopped and I couldn't breathe! Time slowed down as I veered off the road to miss the chair and tried to avoid hitting the man or his stupid furniture truck. I will never forget the look on that man's face...he was actually laughing! Jerk. I think it was because of the stupid look on my face and perhaps the sight of smoke roiling out from underneath poor screeching Black Magic. He's just lucky I have moves like Starsky and Hutch and that I didn't turn him or his stupid chair into road kill!